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Ladies and gentlemen, three minutes to air.
Can I have first team in the studio?
Dan, Casey, that's you.
- Casey, Dan, let's go. - Come on, I'm still here.
- Who's he on the phone with? - Ted Lewis.
You're assistant athletic director.
Don't tell me you weren't on the call.
Are you nervous about something?
- No. - Really?
All right, Ted, I'm gonna get my notes right now.
Natalie, we might have something coming in from Chapel Hill, so tell Dana.
You're not nervous about the Esquire piece?
No. God, no.
- You seem nervous. - I'm not.
Well, have you seen it yet?
- The Esquire piece? - Yes.
No.
- You didn't get an advanced copy? - Nope.
- I'd be nervous. - I'm not.
So you said.
Now, if I'm nervous about anything, it's that I think I have a stalker.
- A stalker, who? - Mm-hmm.
- One of the "CSC Morning" aerobics women. - Sandy?
- Is her name Sandy? - Randy?
- Mandy. - Mandy.
- Madeline. - Natalie!
Oh! Uh, I'm sorry.
You want a minute and a half with a 30-second Q&A?
Yeah, but get me some elbow room, and get Kim.
So, if I appear nervous about anything, that's it.
It's the prospect of being stalked by a fitness professional,
and it's not at all owing to this magazine article that's coming out tomorrow.
But can I just say one thing about...
Excuse me! Hey, would you let her go?
- Sorry. - Casey!
Yeah. Ted, I will mention the word "Heisman"
in connection with Gerardi's name for the next 12 weeks.
Just give me this one.
Dan, Casey, to the studio.
Can you hang on a second, Ted? Thanks. What?
Natalie says my stalker's name is Mandy.
Really? I don't know what the hell we're talking about.
Hey, Casey, Natalie said you need me.
Yeah. Uh, Ted, hold on a second.
Yeah, I want you to work Ted Lewis.
Get him to say they're firing Zapod,
and they're gonna promote the offensive coordinator.
- It's on line 12. - Ted, it's Kim.
You were in town, and you didn't call me.
And have Elliott flag me as soon as you've got it!
It's not like I'm not used to being written about.
- Yeah, sure. - Right?
Once again, I don't know what the hell we're talking about.
Hey, look, everybody! It's two sports anchors.
And that's a good break for us
'cause we're about to do a sports show.
- Sarcasm, thy name is Dana. - 30 seconds.
Toby Benes has a no-hitter in the seventh.
Put Benes in the teaser. If he takes it to the ninth, we'll patch it in on one.
- 15. - 14.
14's gone. It's 15.
- Well, get it. - Got it.
- We shouldn't put it in the tease. - Why not?
- It's bad luck. - It's bad luck?
To talk about a no-hitter.
- It's bad luck for the pitcher? - Yes.
We don't work for the pitcher.
That puts us in a hell of a dilemma.
Actually, I'm fine.
In 3... 2... 1.
Good evening, everybody. From New York City,
I'm Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall.
Those stories, plus we're gonna hook up with the Big East and the Big Ten.
And we'll take you to Jacobs Field
where Toby Benes is working on a no-hitter in the seventh.
All that coming up after this.
You're watching "Sports Night" on CSC, so stick around.
- We're out. - We're back in 60.
So, the stalker has a name?
Yeah, Mandy.
I thought it was Sandy.
Randy!
Mandy... Madeline.
About teasing the no-hitter, it was a tough call,
and I just wanted to tell you that while I didn't agree with the decision,
I have a lot of respect for you for making it.
Benes just lost the no-hitter.
Don't blame yourself.
Thank you.
Oh, Casey, how many times are you gonna read it?
I'm searching for nuance.
How much trouble is Danny in?
Look, don't get me wrong. Dan's my closest friend.
I like to think of our relationship as selfless,
but at the moment I'm not as concerned about him
as I am about... how shall I say...
- You? - Me, yes.
I'm concerned about this sense...
this sense that everything
that's written about the two of us...
that Dan is cool, and I am...
- What is the word? - Not.
Yes, that Dan is cool, and I am not.
There is this sense... there is this perception...
Hey, I need to talk to you.
There is a perception in the press
never more clear than in this article
that I'm not cool.
Now where do you think this perception comes from?
- I think it comes from reality. - Really?
Come... talk to me.
- It could be his haircut. - Hey, I heard that.
So, how much trouble is Dan gonna be in?
It depends if Sachs has seen it.
- Sachs has seen it. - It's been on the newsstand for four hours, and Sachs has seen it?
- Sachs has seen it. - Well, then we can anticipate a certain degree of trouble.
Didn't Isaac tell you to keep an eye out for him
when the two of you were doing press?
- Yes. - What happened?
I'm working out some kinks in the system.
There's a lawyer over here
with a guy from Standards and Practices.
We have standards and practices?
It's a whole wing of the...
No, I mean we have actual standards and practices?
So you don't think it's serious?
I'll tell you what I think is serious
is this perception... this sense...
Casey.
Dana...
He belongs to a fly-by-night organization
that supports the legalization of marijuana,
and he said so in a magazine.
Is the network gonna be happy about it? No.
Is Sachs gonna order someone to order someone
to slap him on the knuckles? Probably.
In the scheme of things,
a much larger issue is that I am cool.
I'm completely cool, huh?
And you dress cool.
That's right.
Wait, that was a dig, wasn't it?
- Casey! - What, you think it's the clothes?
I think it's the haircut.
Excuse me?
She said she thinks it's the haircut.
Thank you.
Look... now what can I do for you?
Jeremy is cutting his first highlight package today.
Good.
- It's the Cubs/Marlins day game at Wrigley. - That's fine.
- It's a day game. - Yes.
There'll be plenty of time to make any changes that need to be made.
Right.
Will you look at it when it's done and give him feedback?
- Yeah. - Thanks.
Is there anything else?
Well, uh, don't you want to know why I'm not doing it?
If you think you need to tell me.
I may have certain feelings for Jeremy.
- Ah. - I think it's possible that I have feelings.
- Okay. - I think these feelings could interfere with my judgment as far as his work is concerned.
I admire your professionalism.
These feelings have been growing inside of me like a rush or a surge...
I think this is a little more than I need to know about...
- Fine. - Okay, thanks.
- Hey. - Hey.
- You'll be nice to him? - Yeah.
- It's his first time. - I know.
- Be nice. - I will.
Jeremy is cutting his first highlight tape.
- Casey's gonna look at it. - Good.
Yeah, I'd look at it myself, but I have certain feelings...
- Natalie! - Fine!
Hey, speaking of certain feelings,
I couldn't help but notice by the elevators this morning
that Mandy the aerobics stalker
seemed to be showing no interest in you whatsoever.
That's how the game is played.
Oh, yeah.
Her disinterest was a performance.
Well, she's good.
Yeah, I'll say.
- Hey, what time is your meeting? - Right now.
- Where? - Isaac's office.
And yet you're here.
Yeah, I'm making him wait for me.
Why?
It's part of my strategy.
Yeah? Well, it sounds pretty sophisticated.
Yep.
Danny...
We did the interview for this piece three months ago.
I don't want to pile it on or anything,
but when you know something like this is gonna happen,
you might want to tell me about it in advance.
Casey, they completely missed the point.
I didn't know they were gonna completely miss the point three months in advance.
Well, what was the point?
The point was that any law that makes criminals out of 15 million Americans
is probably not such a good idea.
The point was that drug abuse isn't a criminal issue, it's a health care issue.
And the money and manpower that we spend prosecuting a surfer in San Diego
might better be used fighting things that genuinely threaten our national health and safety.
That was the point.
- Well, then they completely missed the point. - Yes.
Hey, can I change the subject a second?
- Please. - What's up with me not being cool?
- What is up with that? - I love music.
- I have a great appreciation of music. - Dude, I've been in your car.
You've got the Starland Vocal Band singing "Afternoon Delight."
That's right.
Wait, I do not have the Starland Vocal Band.
It's not like I went out and bought the single.
It's on my "Time-Life: Sounds of the Seventies."
Well, there you have it.
How can I be cool again?
I'm a newly divorced man.
I'm young. I used to be cool.
I need to be cool again.
Help me be cool again.
Well, first I'd have to disabuse you of the notion
that you were ever cool before.
All right, go to your meeting.
I told you I'm makin' 'em wait.
No, you're makin' 'em mad.
No, I'm making them anxious.
I think you're just makin' 'em mad.
I think Isaac specifically is mad.
No, Isaac's on my team. Isaac understands me.
Isaac has a highly developed sense of right and wrong,
and he is hip to my battle plan.
Danny, he's standing right behind you.
How you doin'?
Casey and I were just talking about your highly developed sense of right and wrong,
and I was saying...
Go sit your sorry ass down in that meeting.
On my way, sir.
- Hey, Isaac. - Yeah?
You think I'm cool, don't you?
Do I look like I'm in the mood to do this now?
Not really.
Then let's assume I'm not.
I was not encouraging people to take drugs.
- That's ridiculous. - That's how it reads.
- It's not how it reads to me. - That's how it reads to us.
- You're reading it wrong. - That's how it reads to Luther Sachs.
I don't know if you've noticed, but we're fighting a war against drugs in this county.
How's it goin' so far?
- Danny... - You may find this amusing...
Actually, I don't find it in the least amusing.
Howard Stern did 15 minutes on you this morning.
He said that Dan Rydell lends a whole new meaning to the word "highlights."
Howard Stern's a professional comedian. That's his job.
We've already had a call from the Partnership For a Drug-Free America.
I happen to be a member of that organization.
Dan, I understand your position,
and I don't necessarily disagree with it,
but this is a sports network.
Our sponsors expect us to project an image of good health and clean living.
I'll think about that the next time I'm reporting
on how the Miller Genuine Draft car did in the Winston Cup.
Now, listen, I don't think...
Fellas, he's got a show to prepare.
How do we fix this?
Luther Sachs suggests an apology.
An apology?
He suggests you take a moment tonight during your broadcast...
He wants an on-air apology?
- He's suggesting... - To whom?
To you. He's suggesting to you.
- To whom does he want me to apologize? - To your viewers.
What did I do to my viewers?
The ones who may have read this and misinterpreted.
No, Luther Sachs misinterpreted.
Luther Sachs is the C.E.O. of a very large company.
Well, thank him for his suggestion,
but tell him I'm gonna respectfully pass.
Why don't we just skip down to the end of the page.
You, like every other on-air personality at this network,
has a morals clause in your contract.
Are you now saying what I did was immoral
because Luther Sachs doesn't agree with me?
Most of the country doesn't agree with you.
The validity of your read on what most of the country thinks
not withstanding, Stanley,
actions are immoral, opinions are not.
And I won't apologize for mine.
Discussion is good.
And for those of us fortunate enough
to be the subject of magazine articles,
it may be our responsibility from time to time
to try and raise the level of debate.
Plus, there's the health insurance issue.
- Health insurance? - Yes.
What does my insurance policy have to do...
Our insurance policy.
You're quoted in the article
as saying you haven't taken drugs in 11 years.
11 years today, as a matter of fact.
And that's true.
11 is an old number.
Yeah, it's also a prime number.
He meant that it's an unusual number.
He meant that you were specific.
You didn't say "10 or 15 years."
You said, "11 years ago today."
This caught the attention of our insurance company
because this is normally the kind of information
that only a recovering addict or alcoholic
has at their fingertips.
Hell, Isaac! Please!
We carry an expensive policy on you, Dan.
Now you took a physical, and you answered questions.
Now we could be on the hook for insurance fraud here.
I'm ending this now.
Thank you.
Do what they're telling you to do.
- Really? - Yes.
You think I should apologize?
No, but you're going to anyway.
- Why? - Because this is television.
And this is how it's done.
Yeah, well, sitting in the back of the bus was how it was done
until a 42-year-old lady moved up front.
I'm not very impressed with how things are done, Isaac.
Be that as it may, we'll do it tonight.
That's all. We're done.
- You know, you might... - We're done, Stanley.
Uh, that was a lot of fun, huh?
Yeah.
Take 30 seconds before the second commercial break,
then get us right back into the show.
You know, I don't have any idea what I'm gonna say.
You'll think of something.
I don't know what I'm supposed to say.
- Apologize. - To who?
Who cares?
- Danny. - Yeah?
You know I love you, don't you?
Yeah.
And because I love you, I can say this.
No rich, young, white guy has ever gotten anywhere with me
comparing himself to Rosa Parks.
Got it?
Yes, sir.
Good.
Hey, Jeremy, you got a second?
You bet.
I looked over your, uh, Cubs/Marlins tape.
- Yes? - And it's good.
- Thank you. - It's very good.
- Especially for your first time out. - Thank you very much.
I guess the one note that I would have for you would be about length.
- Yes? - Yeah.
Usually we get, uh, 30 to 40 seconds for each game...
a little bit more if it's a game chock-full
of spectacular plays and/or playoff consequences,
and a little bit less if it goes the other way.
But 30 to 40 seconds is usually the rule of thumb.
I see. And how long did mine run?
8 1/2 minutes.
Ah.
Yeah.
- That's long. - Yeah, it ran a little over. Yeah.
I don't know what to do.
You should make it shorter.
I tried everything.
You should try making it shorter.
What's the key?
- In this case... - Yeah.
Making it a lot shorter.
I can't imagine what I'd cut.
Well, you start off with Cedric, the leadoff batter
in the top of the first inning,
despite the fact that nobody scored till the fifth inning.
There's action beyond scoring.
Yeah, but Cedric grounded out to the shortstop
- and was throw out at first by quite a large margin. - Yeah.
Well, that is what is called a routine ground ball.
In your search for things that are newsworthy,
Let the word "routine" serve as a danger sign.
There's nothing routine about it.
Casey, the guy's hitting.327 since the All-Star break,
he has drawn 22 walks in the leadoff position,
and he's a threat to steal second
every time you put him on.
He fouled off seven pitches.
- And you show each and every one of them. - You bet I do.
We usually just show the pitch that puts the ball into play.
- But then you miss the battle. - The battle?
Yeah, he started him off with a fastball up and in.
Then slider away, slider away,
comes back with a split-fingered change,
drops the curve off the table, sets him up off-speed,
then jams him high and tight.
That's what got him out.
It was a ground ball to the shortstop.
The inevitable conclusion to a job well done.
We have 14 baseball games to cover.
Yeah.
- 30 seconds apiece. - Right.
Your tape is 8 1/2 minutes.
I'm at a loss.
You got to make it shorter!
I'm just not seeing it.
All right, come with me. Come on.
Animation 18 is a full-screen wash.
Is it over the shoulder?
- I think it's over the shoulder. - It's over the shoulder.
- And that's... - 2 for 9 inside the red zone.
Dave, is it the monitors,
or is the background on the drop starting to look beige?
It's not beige. It's tan.
It's the gels.
- It's not the gels. It's the monitors. - It's the gels.
Well, take a look at it, because it's starting to give me a headache.
- You want some aspirin? - I want you to fix the monitors.
- It's the gels. - Take it outside.
- Back here at 10:00. - Oh!
Dan needs a little time before the second break.
We'll come out of Kyle's remote,
Casey will throw it to Dan for 45 seconds,
and he'll take us to commercial.
He's really gonna apologize?
- Yeah. - To who?
I don't write Dan's scripts.
Thank you, everybody.
Have you checked on the guys?
Dan's in research, and Casey's in editing with Jeremy.
- Do they need anything? - Casey needs a woman.
Casey needs a woman?
He needs a woman.
Don't start that.
- He needs a woman, Dana. - Mnh.
He's a single man living his life in an empty apartment.
He got divorced two weeks ago.
He needs spoons. He needs forks.
He needs a woman.
I don't want to talk about this. Run me through the promo.
- Now, should we be... - He's reaching out!
- He's not reaching out. - He's reaching right out to you!
He's not reaching anywhere near me.
- You're missing the signs. - I am not missing the signs.
Wait, really?
Reaching right out to you!
We've been at this for two hours now,
which is just slightly longer than your coverage
of the seventh-inning stretch.
How's it going in there!
It's going real good.
Casey and I are having some very healthy creative differences.
Casey listens to the Starland Vocal Band, so...
Go away from me now!
- Shout if you need me! - Now!
Okay, this section here
where the batter taps dirt off his shoe and spits four times...
- We can't cut that! - Jeremy!
Well, the storm clouds are gathering.
All right, just out of curiosity,
what voiceover would you have me write for this moment?
What's wrong with "The Storm Clouds Are Gathering"?
The storm clouds aren't gathering. He's cleaning his shoe.
He's breaking Carrera's pitching rhythm.
- The battle? - The battle.
The battle. Okay, look...
if people just want the score, they can listen to the radio.
We have an opportunity to affect their appreciation of baseball.
God knows you've affected mine.
Casey, what are you working on?
An epic miniseries.
It's the Cubs/Marlins.
I got to make room for Danny's apology.
Just give me the double off the wall,
the homer in the fifth, and the error at third.
- That's a travesty. - I need it in my hands right now.
Casey, we're on the air in 15 minutes.
All right. I got to go change, Jeremy.
The storm clouds are gathering.
Also, Lyle's interview is gonna be live.
I got that note.
- You got it? - Yep.
- I wasn't sure you got it. - I did.
- Casey. - Yeah?
Do you have spoons?
I'm sorry.
Do you have spoons and a fork?
- Do I have spoons and a fork? - To eat with.
Yeah, I know what they're for.
I just thought 'cause you've only been in the new apartment a couple of weeks,
and with these hours I thought maybe you...
No, I've bought myself spoons and a fork.
- Good. - Yeah.
- Good. - Okay, well...
You got a whisk?
A whisk?
Yes.
That's the thing you...
For scrambled eggs.
You... You stir it really fast in a bowl.
- I can't just use the fork? - Truthfully, yes.
- I got to go change. - Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's go.
Um, show time.
All right, come on! Let's go, everybody!
Let's get in the zone!
...where the Bears were 2 for 9 inside the red zone.
For that we'll take you to Kelly Kirkpatrick in Chicago.
- Kelly. - Thank you, Casey.
Dan, Casey, we'll be back on you in 45 seconds.
Casey, just a heads-up.
Take your time on the scoreboard filler.
We're gonna have a 20-second gap on the recap.
- Got it. - You know who I didn't see today?
- Mandy the healthy stalker? - That's right.
That's 'cause she's not stalking you.
- Did you talk to him about... - Yes.
- Did he? - No.
- Did you talk to him about spoons and forks? - Yes.
- 20 seconds. - Uh, come in for a landing, Kelly.
Is it just me, or is the set turning beige?
- It's the gels. - It's the monitors.
In 10.
Jeremy, you did a good job on that Cubs/Marlins game.
I only wish you could have seen the tape
before the life was sucked out of it
by forces entirely beyond my control.
Jeremy.
I know exactly how you feel.
- Quiet, please. - Casey, stand by.
...take you back
to our "Sports Night" studio in New York.
Thank you, Kelly Kirkpatrick.
We'll be bringing you more on that story on "NFL Kickoff,"
Sunday morning, 10:00 Eastern Standard Time,
and 1:00 if you're watching us in Brussels.
Dan.
This network, the Continental Sports Channel,
has asked me to clarify some remarks I made
in a publication that hit your newsstands this morning.
It is possible that one could come away from this article
with the impression that I don't believe
that drugs are a destructive and deadly force on our culture,
our economy, and on the lives of our children.
Uh-oh.
- Talk to me, Dana. - Stay with him.
Casey, be ready to take us to commercial.
Come on, Daniel.
I have a younger brother named Sam.
Sam's a genius. I mean literally.
As a kid, he tested off the charts.
The first computer I ever had, he built from a kit
he bought with money he earned tutoring other kids in math.
He's energetic and articulate, curious and funny,
a great source of pride to our parents.
And there's no doubt that he'd be living a great life right now
except for that he's dead.
'Cause when you're 14 years old,
all you ever really want to be when you grow up
is your 16-year-old brother,
and in my case, that meant smoking a lot of dope.
The day I went off to college
was the day that Sam got his driver's license,
and he celebrated
by taking a drive with some of his friends...
drunk and high as a paper kite.
He never saw the red light that he ran,
and he probably never saw the 18-wheel truck
that put him into the side of a brick bank either.
That was 11years ago tonight,
and I just wanted to say...
I'm sorry, Sam.
You deserved better in my hands,
and I apologize.
That's all.
Casey and I will be right back after this
with the American League wrap-up.
You're watching "Sports Night" on CSC, so don't go away.
We're out.
Can I just say one more thing about the Starland Vocal Band?
Sure.
1978, they win the Grammy for Best New Artist.
You know who they beat? Elvis Costello.
Now, is it your belief that Elvis Costello isn't cool?
No, it's my belief that the Grammy voters aren't cool.
- Now they tell me. - Hey, I've been tryin' to tell...
Who else isn't cool that I thought was cool?
- Is Nicholson cool? - Oh, yeah, Nicholson's cool.
- J.D. Salinger? - Yes.
- The muppets? - Yes, but not...
There's a subtle distinction.
You got to feel it.
Zamfir, master of the pan flute?
- Very, very cool. - Really?
- Yes. - Yeah?